Still here :)

I am still here. I need somewhere off my main blog, that I can talk. And so this will be MY SPACE.

It seems the older I get, the more I not only question everything I believe, but the more I find myself changing, relaxing, giving grace and forgiving. Sometimes I wonder where I will end up on this path. Mostly though, I am trying to embrace the journey.

Not easy.

I live in a traditional, rural, Midwest town, where there is value in hard work, discipline, traditional education, religion, and supporting an agricultural community.

My values are no longer in line 100% with the community at large, so I often find myself quietly withdrawing.

At THIS time, I value working at a job that you find joy in, grace-based parenting, unschooling, and supporting the small, local food-system. I lean heavily towards natural healing and looking to the Creator and His creation for answers. In a country that is radically sliding towards government control, I find myself sliding towards being self-sustaining and removing myself from politics of any sort.

On the topic of religion, I am in a church that is pretty radical. Seeing all of us "that" sinner, instead of pointing at others. Our pastor is humble and kind, and readily admits his own short-comings. I find a deep filling for my spiritual void when I attend church. I am less quick to judge, because I no longer know where I stand on many controversial issues.

It's a confusing and isolating place.

I am starting to find like minded people here, but they are few and far between and often much younger than me. I don't care anymore. I am happy to call them friends. :) I also have met some amazing women online. Two of whom I text regularly. They are my friends. The ones I tell my deepest, darkest secrets too. I cannot wait to give them a hug in heaven.

I am an enigma.

It is not easy, but it is my life.