Missing...

Yes, we are still unschooling. But I've started to feel something is not quite right. I haven't been able to put my finger on it, but it's there like the elephant in the room.

In order to combat those feelings, I have been diving further into the writings of the most outspoken advocates of radical Unschooling. The big guns. The ones who run the show and have the answers.

Reading, reading, reading.

Trying to implement.

And reading some more.

But something is not right in this home. 

I have one that spends all his waking moments in a fantasy world that is the computer. Two that walk around completely bored and unable to think of anything to do. That watch TV all the live-long day. I do everything I'm supposed to. I do enter their worlds. I watch them and be with them. Are they learning? At this point I'm not sure it matters. Focusing solely on "learning" has caused me to have blinders on to the bigger root issue. My children are sliding down a slope and I've allowed it.

In a home where there are neurotypical children, I do believe complete, while-life, radical Unschooling could and would work. Beautifully.

Unfortunately, my kids can't function well in this system. Their backgrounds have taught them very well how to tune out of life and to use the tv, computer, whatever, as a way to escape. They are very much 6 years old, relying on no-one, and meeting their needs and wants with no thought to the morality of their choices. 

They have no moral base.

None.

And because of that, we cannot radically unshool. I will not give up their hearts that easily.

I have made a mistake. Instead of turning to the Bible as my reference for what unschooling is, I've been turning to the big gurus. I've taken their word as the gospel truth. I've accepted their opinion as the final word. 

I've offered up my children on the altar of THEIR beliefs. 

THEIR values. 

Their. Beliefs.

Time to rethink radical unschooling.  

So I'm bucking the big machine and I'm pulling my kids back. We are starting back at square one, and I am choosing to diligently work on doing my part to heal my kids' hearts. They know how to tune out life. What they don't know, is how to be part of a family. How to trust and allow yourself to be cared for. 

God has entrusted us to be parents for these kids. It is our job to raise them with heaps of grace and kindness. To keep them from "escaping" life, and instead to be part of a life that embraces pain and joy and reality.

Today we start.